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Simply put, self esteem is how we feel about ourselves, whether we think highly of ourselves, lowly, or in-between it has great effects on our lives. The state of our self-esteem is affected by many factors, to improve our self-esteem you need to find why it’s that way first.

Things like bullying, insecurities, body shaming, abuse, loneliness, pressure by parents, peers, self-conflict. They have major effects on our self-esteem and to reach greater heights in this life, we need to believe we can and if we have low self-esteem there’s a small chance that’ll be possible.

You need to know that, you can have high self-esteem in cases like school, friends, but have low self-esteem in places where you need to show yourself and your outside appearance, whatever it is, we need to find it first.

If you’re reading this, you probably found your area of low self-esteem or you will before the end of this article. For me, I’ve been able to increase improve on myself esteem once I acknowledged the lack of it in certain areas of my life. But I have days where it drops and my anxiety starts, I’m still trying to go through it.

To improve your self-esteem, some things can be done. I’ve done them, others have, and you can do them too. They might seem little to you but I promise they will have big effects on yourself.

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How to increase your Self esteem

1.      Self-care:

self care for confidence

The biggest, most effective self-care method is self-talk, positive self-talk. Anytime you feel down just tell yourself that you’re enough, don’t make yourself the victim, just because I couldn’t have a good conversation with someone doesn’t mean I’m not interesting, it could mean we are just really different and couldn’t build rapport with each other.

 It doesn’t have to be your fault, tell yourself that you’ll do it next time. Change doesn’t happen overnight. You’re beautiful, and if someone doesn’t like you or what you do then that’s their own problem.

Read: 99 ways to practice Self care & self love

2.      Stop comparing yourself with others:


The more you compare yourself to people, the more you put yourself down, you don’t know what they went through to get to where they are now.

 It could even be a façade they’re putting up. So don’t do that, it’s one of the worst things you can do to yourself. I’ve had people compare me with my sisters in every possible way, I hated it and thankfully I had good friends that stood up for me. Those people are toxic stay away from them.

3.      Do things you like:

passion for confidence

Instead of being with people and doing things you don’t even care about, take time to do your own stuff. You’ll feel a great sense of accomplishment and you’ll feel like you can do anything.

That feeling is as a result of you believing in yourself and higher self-esteem. Celebrate the little things and you’ll always reflect and feel happy. Just don’t be arrogant about it.

Read: How to find your passion

4.      Cut out people from your life:

self ezteem

It’s that simple, if the people around you don’t uplift you morally and believe in you, they’ll always make you feel worthless, that’s the lowest form of self-esteem, it’ll result to depression and even worse. Know your worth and ask for it, never settle for less.

 The good and important people will pick you up and dust you off, every time you fall. That’s how it should be. I know in some cases it’s not that easy, then learn to stand up for yourself, if you know that person will always be in your life, speak up and tell them off, they will definitely retaliate but will even respect you and will never do that again.

If it’s so bad, leave that place, travel for a week or something, just clear your head and reflect on your life, people are just as high as the opinion you give them, they’re not that special.

Read: How to cut out toxic people from your life

Read: How to deal with criticism

5.      Change what you can and accept what you can’t change:


This is by far my most favorite. It helped me so much, I used it in terms of body Image but you can apply it anywhere. Everyone has body image issues no matter how perfect they seem. But as I said don’t compare yourself with others. 

So if your low self-esteem is caused by your weight, hair, skin condition, health, do something about it, don’t just sit here. You’ll just wallow in misery. That’s is the worst thing you can do to yourself, not do something about a condition you’re not comfortable in. change it, and whatever you can’t change, accept it.

Change what you can and accept what you can’t change Click To Tweet

 It’s a part of you and you are the most beautiful version of you there. How do you know it’s a flaw if there’s no one like you? Do you understand me? Do you? You’re the perfect you.

There is no one else like you. And please don’t result in surgery, instead of lifting you up, it’ll just make you feel worse.


So, these are the most important self-esteem key points out there. Use them every day, say that you’re beautiful until you believe it. Because you are. Have fun with this and please share with people who need this. I mean everybody.

Thank you for reading.

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Ilham U.

Hey there!
My name is Ilham but you can call me Illey. I am the 18 year old blogger behind finding beautiful.

Finding beautiful is a platform where I write about beauty/health, Skincare, Selfcare, personal development and motivation. All things I love and care about.
They are parts of my life which when I payed attention to and practiced, helped me find me. the beautiful me. If you stick around, that's what I want to do, help you find your beautiful. For any girl, out there, young or old. To be the boss lady you wanna be, to unleash those dreams and achieve all those goals.

5 Replies to “How to increase your self esteem and self-confidence”

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